First and foremost, I want to say that I am in no way suggesting that social media is 100% awful. Like most things, it has it's advantages and disadvantages. Social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. has given us the opportunity to connect with people like never before. Distance no longer hinders our ability to experience other cultures, meet new people and keep in touch with old friends. In a mere second, we can talk to someone on the other side of the world without wracking up "long distance" charges. Without social media, there's a good chance start-up companies would never happen, advances in media don't take place, and the world implodes from lack of computer/cell phone use. (Just kidding on the last one, but sometimes I wonder...)
I also want to say that I do, indeed, understand that this is being brought to you via a social media device called Blogger. Social media can be a wonderful thing! You see those posts on Facebook about people donating money for a child's life-saving operation or the many dogs/cats that are saved by the SPCA posting pictures to the Twitter-verse. You can keep up with your friends from high school who are starting families or network with other small business to be more successful. Really, the possibilities are endless. But what we might not think about are the possible negative effects that social media can have on us as individuals and collectively as a human race.
Most of these negative effects have to do with over-consumption or over-use, so I'd like to start with that disclaimer first. Of course one can go about their life constantly engaging in some form of social media and never have any issues. It's possible, but I dare say, not probable. However, the more aware we are of the possibilities of certain issues, the more likely we are to be able to monitor ourselves and prevent them from happening, which is hopefully what this article will do for you.
Issue #1: Social Media can hurt our relationships
A June 2013 study conducted by the University of Missouri found that high amounts of Facebook use among couples "significantly predicted" Facebook-related arguments, which in turn "significantly predicted negative relationship outcomes such as cheating, breakup, or divorce." Researchers surveyed Facebook users of all ages and their findings were not stipulated by age but rather the maturity of the relationship.
Russell Clayton, a doctoral student at the Univ. of Missouri who was helping to conduct the study, said that “Facebook-induced jealousy may lead to arguments concerning past
partners. Also, our study found that excessive Facebook users are more
likely to connect or reconnect with other Facebook users, including
previous partners, which may lead to emotional and physical cheating.” The more we're on Facebook, the more likely we are to be monitoring our partner's activity on Facebook, he finds, which can lead to these sorts of issues.
Limitations: These problems seemed to occur most in relationships of 3 years or less.
Issue #2: Social Media can "amplify our culture's growing levels of narcissism" The University of Michigan cunducted a study in June 2013 which looked specifically at Facebook and Twitter and their role in narcissitic behavior and addressed that these mediums could be influencing their users to become preoccupied with how other people see them.
"According to [Elliot] Panek (University of Michigan), Facebook serves narcissistic adults as a mirror. "It's about curating your own image, how you are seen, and also
checking on how others respond to this image," he said. "Middle-aged
adults usually have already formed their social selves, and they use
social media to gain approval from those who are already in their social
circles." For narcissistic college students, the social media tool of choice is the megaphone of Twitter. "Young people may overevaluate the importance of their own opinions,"
Panek said. "Through Twitter, they're trying to broaden their social
circles and broadcast their views about a wide range of topics and
issues.""
Is this really all that bad? I guess that is determined by your own viewpoint but the more focused we are on ourselves, the less we're focused on other people, which means our social awareness is completely skewed. What's startling to me is that I had already felt this way before researching into it. I had noticed that the more I used Facebook or Twitter, the more I was concerned with people "liking" my status or commenting on it. It's as if by creating this online persona, we have to be constantly validated as well as encouraged that we are good enough, smart enough, successful enough, pretty enough... you fill in the blank. These can lead to an unhealthy ego and/or unhealthy self esteem, all of which plays into the next issue.
Limitations: Of course, I acknowledge that this a generalization and not everyone will develop narcissistic tendencies or traits. However, it is substantially more likely to occur than if one engaged in less social media. Issue #3: Social Media can hurt our self esteem
As human beings, we tend to constantly compare ourselves to each other, that's just a fact of life. A lot of times, we don't even know we're doing it! But it's not always a bad thing. Sometimes it keeps us in check with cultural or societal norms or when we're young, it helps us learn how to function in society and even how to communicate and socialize with others. But it can also be a very bad thing, in terms of how it impacts our self esteem. The problems with Facebook and other similar social media is that it gives us a skewed version of other peoples' lives (usually a very positive one) to which we compare our own, which can severely and negatively affect our self esteem.
A study was done at Stanford University by Alex Jordon on 80 Facebook users, who found that people regularly overestimatethe positive aspects of other peoples' lives and underestimate the negative ones. Jordon states that "by showcasing the most witty, joyful, bullet-pointed versions of
people's lives, and inviting constant comparisons in which we tend to
see ourselves as the losers, Facebook appears to exploit an Achilles'
heel of human nature. And women may be especially vulnerable to keeping up with what they imagine is the happiness of the Joneses." What we need to remember when looking through these types of sites is that many people don't post the bad things that happen in their lives, which means your perception of how "happy" or "great" their lives are compared to your own isn't true.
I don't know about you, but I'm definitely guilty of this. A year ago at the coming of my 24th birthday, I had a midlife crises. I know how this sounds, but it's true. I had a complete mental breakdown because I wasn't anywhere near where I wanted to be at that age. Sure, Facebook didn't cause these problems, the feelings of inadequacy were already there and that's something I'm dealing with. But what I discovered was that Facebook was making things much more difficult for me; it was making me feel worse and worse about myself because every time I was logged on, I was bombarded with all these great things that my friends had accomplished and I was still working on. It was inviting constant comparison between me and every one of my friends. I'd open Facebook and it would only take a minute scrolling down the News Feed to see all the things I had always wanted in my life (that I had not yet had or accomplished) in the lives of others, and it made me feel like a complete failure. It took me a long while to realize the impact that Facebook had on me, and it was then that I realized I needed to be careful with the amount of Facebooking I do. Because I don't need those negative feelings in my life and neither does anyone else.
Limitations: Not everyone will experience negative impacts to their self esteem. There is some research that has been found to suggests that Facebook can have a positive effect based on it's ability for us to put a positive image of ourselves out there. There is a certain amount of control the user possesses with the pictures and writings that they post on their wall, which can provide a strengthening to their self esteem. There are also those that are normally shy in real life and are able to finally speak up via Facebook/Twitter, which can boost their self esteem.
I'm not suggesting to give up social media completely, but to be aware of how we feel when we use it and adjust accordingly. Knowing the harmful impacts it can have, we can still reap all the benefits while being able to minimize the possible negative outcomes.
I love to laugh. Like, I LOVE it. I mean, most of us do, right? I probably laugh more than I talk or at least, they’re equal. Sometimes instead of talking my friends/family and we'll just sit there laughing together from some joke or comment that nobody remembers because it was at least 20 minutes ago. Along with the old sayings like “an apple a day keeps the doctor at bay”, we grew up hearing “laughter is good for your soul”. But is it really? I think most of us would answer “yes” to that, but why?Could it be that laughter is actually as good for you physically AND emotionally?
It’s a good thing I’ve done all the research for you, so don’t worry! ;) I love to do research, it’s the nature of the beast in my field, and this is something that it super interesting to me because it’s universal. EVERYBODY laughs, though the humor might not be the same because of cultural differences, the biological process is the same. Why does it feel so good?Why is it infectious?What actually causes us to laugh?
Considering how much we know about everything, we still don’t know a whole lot about laughter! Isn’t that crazy? The study of laughter even has its own name, GELOTOLOGY! What I’ve found is going to make you want to add additional doses of comedy and laughter into your life, but don’t worry; there’s no way to overdose on this healthy drug.
Laughter is caused by humor, which are similar things but definitely not the same thing. It’s the biological process that occurs in response to stimuli (humor) which produces an electrical wave throughout the entire cerebral cortex of our brain and then results in a physical response which has two parts: gestures (like a smile) and sound. These two things happen simultaneously, mostly without a conscious effort to do so. But it effects our full body- we can see a response in our arms or legs (I know I’m always slapping at my knee or stomping my foot!), as well as the constricting of stomach muscles, which you can feel sharp pains in after long bouts of laughing. But most importantly, it causes the release of hormones into your blood stream which makes you feel really good, and also makes you want to do it again. That’s what laughter is.
But why do we do it? Psychologists and Cultural Anthropologists believe that laughter is part of our bonding techniques. Think about who you laugh with the most- family, friends, and co-workers? Sure, you can laugh with complete strangers, but we usually laugh the most with people with whom we trust and feel connected to. It’s a cycle that is repeated- we laugh together to bond together; when we feel open and trusting enough to laugh with someone, it creates a strong bond, which creates more trust and openness, and in turn, makes us want to laugh more with them and create even stronger bonds. Studies show we tend to laugh more with other people than we do by ourselves (excluding external stimulants like watching TV or reading books), which suggests their theories are correct- laughter is meant for socialization, for connection and bonding with other people. But it’s also designed to make us HAPPY.
The release of endorphins into your blood stream provides an instantaneous mood lifter, causing you to feel good. But it’s not just the release of your very own “narcotic-like” hormone that makes you feel better- after laughing, your heart rate and blood pressure drop below normal, making you feel more relaxed. It’s no wonder that laughter has been linked with lowering stress, anxiety, and depression, which have been evidenced by studies like the one performed at the University of Waterloo. In fact, a study done at West Chester University in Pennsylvania showed that students who used humor to deal with stress had a more positive mood.
Lee Berk and Stanley Tan from the Loma Linda School of Medicine in California found that “Laughter… sharpens most of the instruments in our immune system's tool kit. It activates T lymphocytes and natural killer cells, both of which help destroy invading microorganisms. Laughter also increases production of immunity-boosting gamma interferon and speeds up the production of new immune cells. And it reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which can weaken the immune response.”
So every time you laugh, you're actually working to make your body healthier by reducing stress and boosting your immune system. In fact, laughter is such an effective "drug", there’s even a movement to use laughter as “preventative medicine”. And it's easy to do! Just follow this process:
1. Know your “humor profile”- monitor yourself for a couple days and observe which types of things actually make you laugh out loud. Be honest with yourself, it won’t help anything if you use the wrong type of humor! Figure out which comedy type suits you, no shame!
2. Now you have your profile, use it to build your humor library- books, TV shows, movies, CD’s, magazines, etc. Designate a shelf or specific spot for them so they’re easily accessible. Then, when you’re feeling down or stressed or anxious, reach for one of those things and spend some time laughing. Even just a couple minutes makes a substantial difference. PLUS- this definitely gives you a reason not to feel guilty about buying those seasons or movies that you love, AS LONG AS THEY MAKE YOU LAUGH! Patty Wooten, president of the American Association for Therapeutic Humor says that “…by taking time out to laugh, you adjust your mood, your physiology, your immune system. And then you go back to work and face what you have to do." Laughing is your body’s way of boosting your mood, making connections and bonding, de-stressing and making you happy! So go ahead, indulge in it! It’s the one thing that you can never have enough of. You’re just one laugh away from a happy, healthier life! So go ahead, take a break, throw on an episode of New Girl or 30 Rock, and embrace the day! :)
Ashley, how many problems can girls possibly have to do SO many different posts about it! You know what, I here you. I do. I know that several editions of these have gone out, but this is one I've been working on for a while now. The others were specific to certain things, this is more like a compilation of non-specific things, you follow me? Well, don't worry, NOTHING is repeated here, so you can keep reading without completely wasting your time... Girl Problems: I Got 99 Problems... Edition 1. Running out of tampons at 12 o'clock at night. 2. In rush putting on makeup=stabbing yourself in the eye with your eyeliner. Every time. And it only happens when you're in a hurry. 3. Thinking a boy is really cute and then being introduced to him as your friends new boyfriend. 4. Getting paid less than guys do.
5. Chocolate addiction. 6. Being a size in a pair of jeans at one store and a completely different size at another.
7. The day you wear a flowey skirt is of course the day it's unexpectedly windy outside. 8. Getting your stiletto heal caught in a grate. 9. Wearing a pair of flats because you think they'd be comfy and it turns out they eat feet for breakfast. 10. When the wire in your bra pokes out the side and stabs you in the arm. 11. Major cramps during a huge test. 12. Bloating and unable to wear your favorite jeans on a first date.
13. Organizing your high heels by the following: "Dinner Heels" (i.e. sitting down heels), "Slightly less painful w/ a 4 hour shelf life", "Comfy-ish but not for dancing", and "flats". 14. When you smear your eye liner and no one tells you..for who knows how long. 15. When you cry unexpectedly and you're not wearing waterproof mascara. 16. When you find out your friend and you have a crush on the same guy. (Dibs!)
17. When you try on the most beautiful pair of heels you've ever seen and this is what happens. 18. People not taking you seriously because you're a girl.
21. Knowing you're supposed to eat daintily like "a lady" but all you want to do is scarf it. 22. Just getting your nails done and chipping/smudging them on the car door as you get in. 23. When the thing you ALWAYS do with your hair just won't work. 24. Starting your period on your hike down a mountain...in white shorts. 25. Actually, just starting your period, ANYTIME.
26. Trying to be excited when something great happens for your friends but also feeling bad because it feels like nothing ever happens for you. 27. Slipping and ripping your pants in front of the guy you like. (This may or may not have happened to me my junior year in high school...) 28. Bad Hair Days=Can I hide this under a head scarf or will someone notice? 29. Living your life through the fantasies of 1800's novels. (Janeites' unite!)
30. When something goes wrong with your hair at the salon. 31. You have to spend so much more money on products than boys do. 32. When they're out of your shade in foundation at Bare Minerals. 33. Shaving. All the time.
34. When you realize you just finished off a pie...by yourself. 35. Needing a pedicure before you can wear those new sandals you got. 36. Being charged for things you don't need at the mechanics because you don't know any better.
37. When your friend dates your ex and your trying to be okay with it but you're not. 38. Spilling something down your shirt on a date and being unable to get it out. 39. Ripping a nail off actually does hurt. 40. Putting your hair up into a ponytail gives you head/neck pain.
41. Because nothing in real life can ever top this fictional moment. 42. Some days are a complete waste of makeup. 43. When long thick lashes are wasted on boys. 44. When you go to a family/friends wedding alone. 45. When nothing can get the stain out of your favorite blouse.
46. Those days when nothing fits but sweatpants. 47. When you rub your eyes only to remember you're wearing makeup. 48. When you wake up too late to wash your hair and you try to cover it up by rocking the "slicked back ponytail/bun", except you can totally tell it's just dirty. 49. Trying out "on-trend" blue shadow and just ending up looking like a hooker or Madonna from the 80's...and NOT in a good way.
50. When your hormones make you ravenously hungry...for 7 straight days. 51. When you accidentally wash your favorite lipstick in your jeans. 52. When someone brings cupcakes into the office on your non-cheat day. 53. Being on your period when you're camping in the middle of summer without a proper bathroom. 54. Your metabolism is like 3 times slower than guys'....
55. When the only conversations you have with your crush are when he asks you what the date is. 56. When your ex's account pops up on your "suggested dates" for your online dating profile. 57. Taking out your contacts when you realized you just put lotion on your hands. 58. Running out of deodorant when your rushing out of the house late for work.
59. When you can't help both love girlie music. 60. When you find the perfect pair of shoes for your *big event* and they don't have your size. 61. Dreaming about your favorite chocolate and then waking up and not being able to eat it. 62. The last time that you liked the way your bangs looked was in the salon when your stylist cut them. 63. When you don't wear makeup one day and everybody asks if you're sick or tired.
64. When you realize your arch enemy from high school is in your college class. 65. Universal truth: The only times you find something you want to buy (shoes/clothes) are the times you don't have money- when you DO have money, you can never find ANYTHING to spend it on! 66. Tampon commercials paint an unrealistic depiction of how fun it is to be around menstruating women. 67. When a child yelling "Grandma!!" runs up and throws their arms around your leg in Taco Bell and you're TWENTY-FREAKING-FIVE YEARS OLD!! And EVERYONE looks at you like EH?!? And all you want to do is scream I'M NOT THAT OLD!!!
68. When MAC discontinues your favorite lipstick/eye shadow shade. 69. Laying in bed in the morning and calculating whether or not getting up to shower before work is actually worth it or not. 70. Readjusting your bra in public when you think no one is looking and then you realize someone is... 71. When no one understands or recognizes your Gilmore Girls references. 72. Or just every time you realize you'll never be as witty as Lorelai Gilmore...which is like every day.
73. Because when your hormones are off the charts, you always feel like crap. 74. When you need an emergency girls night but no one can get together for at least a week. 75. Having to stop at a gas station at night by yourself. 76. Ripping a hole in your stockings in the middle of the day when you can't go home to change them.
77. Sometimes all you can think about is the next time you get to eat. 78. Somehow every small noise when you're home alone is interpreted by your brain as a life-threatening situation. 79. Dealing with the fact that your favorite YA heroes like Four or Peeta or Jace will NEVER be real. :( 80. Bras are expensive.
81. Because of this. 82. When guys think that 8 or 9 girls out together is like a jackpot they must've won in another life and really don't understand the 'no boys allowed' rule so they just keep bugging you all night. 83. Growing apart from some of your best girlfriends. 84. Never feeling as cool in your glasses as Jessica Day looks. (New Girl)
85. When you're simultaneously texting your crush and your BFF (because OBVIOUSLY you're freaking out and you need to give them a play-by-play!) and you accidentally send the response intended for your BFF to your crush... 86. Also, just wishing you were as cool as Jennifer Lawrence and knowing it will never happen. 87. Always considering that the noise you just heard in the middle of the night was a serial killer...actually, that's the only thing you consider. 88. Your period cravings are always along the lines of Pizza and Pad Thai and never anything healthy...and they're near impossible to ignore.
89. When nothing in your life goes according to your plans. 90. Wanting to travel but not feeling safe traveling alone. 91. When you live alone and the only person you have to kill that terrifying spider is YOU. 92. You daydream about the likes of Mr Darcy, Captain Wentworth, Knightley and Tilney but to no avail...men like them no longer exist and constant realization breaks your heart over and over again.
93. When someone cops attitude with you while you're PMSing and it's all you can do not to backhand them. 94. When boys totally ruin a good thing by saying/doing something completely stupid. 95. Wearing a white bra glow-bowling...it doesn't seem to matter what color your shirt is, you're now proving a free show to everyone there.
96. When someone takes the last Scotchmallow from the box of Sees. 97. That awful moment when you find out who your real friends are. 98. People are still surprised that movies/t.v. shows with a female lead character (especially an action film) bring in lots of money. Feminism people, it happened. Get over your chauvinism already. 99. You always have so many problems!! ;)
My relationship with Psych (the TV shows, not my major!) is like my relationship with oxygen or water or say fictional young adult book characters- completely and utterly vital to my existence. In 2006 I met this lovely duo (via my television of course) and instantly became addicted to their charm, wit, and friendship. They are probably the best friendship to ever be portrayed on TV, besides maybe Lucy & Ethel or any of the FRIENDS. They're wacky and crazy and HILARIOUS and they 100% understand and love each other.
Shawn and Gus have been best friends since elementary school and are still going strong into their 30's. They see each other every day and even own their own business together. While they each play very different roles in their relationship, they accept who the other person is and love them for it. Shawn and Gus are the greatest!
But this show is full of amazing relationships. It's about friendship, first and foremost, about life and growing up and living your dream (of being a fake cop) and also love. It's basically the most awesome thing in the world.
This week was the series finale and while I LOVED the way it all ended, it was so sad for me the entire time because I knew I wouldn't be going on any new adventures with them, and that was seriously HEART BREAKING. It was like watching the series finale of FRIENDS. It's like the end of an era!! And I've been trying all week to move on from my sadness and grief and remember all the good times we had together. Sure, first I was in denial for weeks leading up to it. No, they're not leaving, they're just going on a...a really long break...a vacation, kind of...it's really nothing! I won't even notice their absence! And then the anger hit. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!!! I AM SO MAD AT EVERYTHING!!! THAT'S IT! I'M NOT WATCHING ANY MORE!! I'M GOING ON A STRIKE! WHO'S WITH ME!?! Yeah, that didn't last too long. I moved swiftly (I'm talking like 30 seconds or less here!) into bargaining. Please, please, please don't do this!! Please!! Take back a different show- here, take Vampire Diaries or freaking ANY (OR ALL!) REALITY TV SHOW YOU WANT! Just don't take Psych!! P-L-E-A-S-E!!!! I'm not gonna lie, that one lasted awhile. But then the depression set in. For the last couple episodes I wanted to be happy, and I was for small moments while watching it, but knowing what it was leading up to, it was always bittersweet. But mostly bitter... Nothing will ever be as good as this. I'm just going to stop watching tv altogether. I don't want to get out of my pj's or shower, I'll just sit inside all day. I probably won't even go outside ever again. I probably won't even laugh ever again. Finally, I'm glad to say I've made it to acceptance. Which is where this blog comes in. I want to remember all the good times, the great adventures, the banter and jokes and hilarious almost-pee-your-pants moments! And there's A LOT of them!! I'll re-watch the series over and over (I started last year and I'm currently on season 6!) and it will feel like they never left!
Here are the main reasons why I love Psych so much: It's some of the most witty and brilliant writing on TV, ever, the Pop Culture references from the 80's and 90's, the series long jokes, the chemistry between everyone but especially Shawn & Gus, ...actually, maybe it's better if I just show you.
First, meet Shawn, a *psychic* detective, 80's pop reference junkie, and an honorary ambassador of Paraguay. He has an irrational fear of Patrick Dempsey and is jealous of his hair. He can pass a lie detector test without telling the truth, has a screensaver of a T-Rex biting him, and thinks there are 7 Olympic rings. He has an IQ of 187 and passed the detective test at 15 years old. Not to mention his rington is Rump Shaker by Wreckx-N-Effect and if he was a super hero, he would be "The Catch" (i.e. dressed in a catchers outfit).
Shawn's best moments:
Meet Gus, he's technically a pharmaceutical rep, but he's mostly just the other half of Psych, and Shawn's best friend. His super power is his smelling ability (called the Super Snifer), he's lactose intolerant, and he loves jerk chicken. He's got a spotless credit report, drives a B Lou Berry, imitates Michael Jackson and was voted 'most likely to succeed' in high school. Not to mention he discovered a tyrannosaurus skull but Shawn took the credit. (of course) And if he was a superhero, he would be "Tap Man" (like tap dancing).
Gus' finest moments:
Series Long Jokes:
The "This is my partner, --------" joke:
Pop Culture References:
The Bickering:
The Screaming:
The Dancing:
The "Psycic Ju Ju":
The "Spot the Pineapple" Series-long game:
The Fist-Bumping:
The "Gus, don't be a ------" joke:
Going forward, I'll just remember how silly they were.
In my mind, they continue to do what they've always done- goof off, be awesome, and solve crimes.
Gus will continue to cry over everything.
And food will still always be the first thing on their minds. And we wouldn't have it any other way. Shawn and Juliet will have little kids who grow up to become super hero detectives and Gus will marry a Jamaican women and have little Harry Potter loving Gus' and their children will be best friends and the cycle will keep going until the end of time. That's a pretty good Happily Ever After!
